


The Boring Jester and the Deceptive Prince

by TheMayBellTree



Series: Saioutober2k20 [3]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Kokichi is the crown prince, M/M, Oma Kokichi Is Bad at Feelings, Oma Kokichi Is a Little Shit, POV Saihara Shuichi, Shuichi is the court jester, both of them want to topple the kingdom!, not too bad though, of course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:07:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27244708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMayBellTree/pseuds/TheMayBellTree
Summary: Shuichi, a detective from a family of bardic entertainers, was kidnapped after his family's death and forced to be the court jester for the Ouma monarchy. Of course, Shuichi is pissed. Who in their right mind wouldn't be? That is... until a certain crown prince proposes they overthrow the monarchy.PROMPT THREE FOR THE SAIOUMA PIT SAIOUTOBER EVENT: jester
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Series: Saioutober2k20 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1986190
Comments: 2
Kudos: 98





	The Boring Jester and the Deceptive Prince

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Guess who's just on time for the third prompt of saioutober event! Not me! I'm once again 6 hours late (in my time zone, at least). Oh well!
> 
> This time the prompt was Jester! I think this one is my favorite so far, to be honest.

In the land of Dangan existed a prince, heir to the destined throne of the Ouma family tree. Throughout this land, this prince was hailed as something of a prodigy; he was cunning, quick, and knew just how to manipulate the masses to do the bidding of the kingdom. That is not to say he was cruel, although sometimes he veered in that direction. In his speeches to the peasants, he would inspire and encourage those down on their luck. He promised that when he became king he would outlaw public executions (although that certainly didn’t mean he was opposed to public shaming). He would promise to reconstruct the outer districts to be more safe in the case of uncertain weather conditions and he promised to make sure every family had food on the table. He was revered and feared. He was kind and dominating. He was a leader through and through.

As the only son to a couple that was much too old to conceive, his parents would shame him for his thoughtless actions and words. They would threaten to take away his crown; they would claim that his cousin, a man of feeble disposition, would be much more suited for the job of king than him. The threats given to him by his blood family were empty and simply a means of trying to subdue his thoughts deemed extreme by those in the upper class and those that sat on that gold throne.

Everytime, Kokichi would smile and toss his hands behind his head. He would rock on his feet as he regarded the dominating figures in front of him, purple cloaks and purple hair filling his vision. His parents’ eyes would widen and they would glare at the son that stomped on everything his family had ever stood for. They would yell at him. They would shake him. The entire time, he would smile. He would laugh. And finally, he would say: “just do it, already. Kill me.”

That would make his parents back down without fail. The king would stop shaking him. The queen would pull her husband back. In hushed tones and dark demeanors, they would fall back and the heels of their boots would quietly click against marble floors. They would be gone like the wind, unable to face a son that was a complete and utter disappointment to them. 

Everytime they left at his bitter and antagonizing words, it made him smile. Honestly, they were just so _boring._ Two crooked, no good tyrants. That was it. No, no… he’d be a good leader. He’d be a damn good one.

* * *

  
  


Hailing from the neighboring kingdom of Ronpa, there lived a boy. His name was Shuichi Saihara; although he was rather disappointing in terms of musical talent, as his bardic family often lamented, he was a master of apprehending petty thieves and proving their guilt through rather decisive evidence. For a family chalk full of urchins and peasants and those that didn’t fit in with the status quo, he was an absolute disgrace.

Well, he _was_. He was before they died.

A purple and gold hat sat upon his head and a ridiculous and itchy matching set adorned his body. It was tight and uncomfortable and sweat fell from his hair and down his face, slick beads of sweat falling onto marble as he kneeled before a throne. His knees hurt. His back hurt. He had been bowing before the throne for hours, waiting for the cruel tyrants that he was meant to entertain. The throne was empty and the castle was desolate. Maybe Shuichi was lucky. Maybe no one would come. Maybe this had all been a cruel joke. Maybe he wasn’t a _jester_ of all things.

“Oh~! A jester!” No such luck. A man, short of stature despite the long, flowing black cape that flew behind him, stood in the entrance hall. He wore a golden crown upon his head, though the crown seemed to sway dangerously back and forth from atop it when the boy eagerly swung his head from side to side. A wide smile stretched across his lips. He jumped. He skipped. Then, he ran to the throne that Shuichi was kneeling before, climbing onto the red velvet linings that dominated the throne. Once atop it, he crossed his leg and stuck up his shoes, staring down at Shuichi as though he were nothing but a lowly pest.

Shuichi’s hands were cold and his knees were so damn sore. The duplicate, marble version of himself stared deep into his eyes, brows furrowed with frustration as the black markings upon the marble cut into his skin and burned his eyes. He couldn’t stop staring. He couldn’t stop biting his lip, even when a droplet of blood fell upon that porcelain tile. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to say anything out of place.

“It is customary to greet your rulers, Jester.” The dumb boy before him clicked his heels upon the golden surface of the throne. It was loud and disruptive and rude and so dehumanizing. He was a fool, huh? This was his life now, huh?

_“Hey! Here’s one!” Shuichi heard a voice from outside of the rubble. He wanted to call out but no sound would come out of his throat. He wanted to scream, but a thick pillar of wood was crushing his windpipe. It hurt to breathe. With every breath, he found it harder and harder to take the next one. His hands were trapped. He couldn’t reach up to take the wood off. Tears burned his eyes and the putrid smell of blood met his nostrils but he couldn’t do a single thing._

_“Kid… are you alright?” a man spoke, his voice rough and deep and crisp; he seemed well-educated and friendly enough and he enunciated every single one of his consonants perfectly. However, he found that it was an accent quite unlike his own. It sounded odd and there was a slight rasp and short pause between every other word he said. Then the man’s eyes shifted into view. They were a light blue, dark circles encasing his under eyes for inches to come. The boy cried out as loud as he could at the sight, but the wooden pillar on his throat only let him scream a guttural whine that was not so much a yell as much as a desperate, pained whisper. The man’s eyes were sympathetic yet cold. His eyebrows pulled down as they regarded Shuichi, eyeing the pillar crushing his throat yet making no effort to pull it off of him. Instead, he yelled out to someone. “Kiyo! Is it the Saihara boy?”_

_A silky, smooth voice followed afterwards. This new man’s voice was like that of a snake, slippery and slimy and creepy. “Yes. The Saihara name is imprinted onto the side of the carriage. Shame what happened to the rest of them.” Shuichi bit his lip as he stared into that cold man’s eyes, a cold unease falling over him. When the man above him smiled a wicked grin and leaned closer, Shuichi flinched and the pillar that had been crushing him fell down further from the elevation it had sought atop another pillar. The wooden structure dug into Shuichi’s trachea and it was absolutely no use. He was out cold. The last thing he saw was that man reaching towards him with untrimmed fingernails and malicious intent._

_Then… he woke up. He woke up to a new kingdom, a new life, and a new job._

“Well Jester? Do you have anything to say? This is getting rather boring.”

_No. You’re boring. You’re awful. You’re all the same, aren’t you? Every single royal… corrupt, down to the bone._

His throat still hurt, but he managed to rasp out a few words. His voice was gruff and made him sound like he was forty years older than he really was. It hurt his throat and he felt blood rise from the back of his throat, but he let it be. It should heal soon. He should be fine… well, he’ll be fine if he isn’t executed first. “My apologies, Your Majesty.”

“I couldn’t hear you.”

This time, he spoke louder. Now he _knew_ that blood was threatening to fill his mouth, but he willed his wounds to cooperate in this life-or-death scenario. “I said my apologies, Your Majesty. A wooden pillar fell on my throat yesterday. I-I am having a hard time speaking.”

For a moment, the royal fell silent. A moment later, a sharp laugh tore from the man and Shuichi couldn’t help but look up to see what had caused the man to lose his composure during such a serious moment. The man was doubled over, clutching his stomach as hiccups wracked his body and chuckles tumbled from the mouth of the royal. There was no purpose, no reason, and truly Shuichi had no idea why this royal was reacting the way he was. He had stated facts. That was all. He didn’t understand royalty and their fascination with dark humor. 

The crown sitting upon the royal’s head slid off. It tumbled, falling down the marble steps and the red carpet leading to his throne, ricocheting in front of Shuichi. The newly-employed jester stared at it and he couldn’t help but let his jaw drop. This was bizarre. Truly bizarre.

Finally, the royal started speaking as well as he could between his laughs, “hahhhha -- god, that has to be the -- pshssshh -- LAMEST excuse I’ve ever -- nishi - HEARD!” Then, as soon as he had started laughing, his laughter died. “Now, _Jester_ …” and he said his occupation with such distaste that it made his blood run cold. “... you’re just asking for an execution, aren’t you?” The man stared at his nails blankly, flexing and unflexing his fingers as though itching to wrap those small hands around his already tortured throat. _Did he give him an idea?_

He was short of breath and his throat was burning, but Shuichi gasped out: “no! I’m not… I was kidnapped and brought here… I don’t even know what’s going on. I don’t even know who you are… I just know that I’m apparently a jester now, you’re a… king, or something, and you’re… going to kill me, apparently.”

The royal raised an eyebrow. He looked away from his fingers and crossed his arms, his index finger tapped his upper bicep as if he was unimpressed with Shuichi’s deductive reasoning. Although fair, it still hurt. “Kill you? Who said anything about that?”

“Y-You certainly implied it! With the, uh…” Shuichi flexed and unflexed his fingers as if mocking the royal, although, if Shuichi were to be accused of such, he would deny it to his dying day. He raised those fingers towards his throat and sliced across it, expectantly staring up at the tyrannical man sitting feet above him. “... you know, the um… execution… thing.”

“ _No_ , that’s wrong, idiot. I said you were _begging_ for an execution, not that I was going to execute you myself. Though, with your attitude, if my father was here you would already be dead.”

“A-Ah… your father?”

“Ouma. King Ouma.”

“K-King…” then, Shuichi stopped mid-sentence. Oh. _Oh._ He was in Dangan now. He was… serving under the Ouma family now. Then, if the man before him was the son of King Ouma, that made him… “P-Prince Kokichi!”  
  


The prince smiled at him, but the edges of his lips were far too tight to be genuine. He sneered down at Shuichi's still bowed form, making Shuichi feel as though he should be ashamed for simply existing in the presence of the crown prince. “That’s my name. Don’t wear it out.”  
  


“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“While we’re at it, stop being such a cuckold. Your pathetic sight disgusts me.”

“Yes, Your Majesty…” Prince Kokichi… in the land of Ronpa, even the uneducated knew of the prince. He was both seen as a radical tyrant and a revolutionary figurehead. He spoke to the common people and both inspired them and incited violent riots and attempted coups onto the two currently acting monarchs of the kingdom. He was cruel and believed that it was okay to publicly humiliate criminals through unreasonable methods, but he hated the idea of executions even for the most detestable of heathens. From what he had read… he thought Kokichi would be different. When Kokichi looked down on him, he saw nothing of the man he had heard whispered tales of in rundown inns. He didn’t see a revolutionary future-monarch. He saw a cruel and egotistical prince.

Kokichi clicked his tongue. “Ah, what did I just say? Stop calling me that. I hear it too much. If what you say is true and you were kidnapped, you should know that I’m simply referred to as _Kokichi_ here. That name should be enough to strike fear in your heart. Do you have any questions?”

“No, Your Majesty -- I mean… no, Kokichi.”

“Right. Now.” In a moment, the cruel sneer that had been on his face was replaced with childish glee. The stern prince bounced on his velvet padding, his crown still sat on the floor in front of Shuichi. “Make me laugh!”

“Ah… what?”  
  


Kokichi smirked and it made Shuichi’s blood boil. He tried to even out the expression on his face, but he couldn’t help the frown that dipped into his lips. “You’re a jester, remember? Make me laugh… if not…” and then he cackled, his hand held in front of him like he was a puppet master simply pulling Shuichi’s tight strings. “... if not, you’ll regret it!”

That statement made Shuichi jump to his feet in an instant, almost as if Kokichi really was pulling his strings. He didn’t know how to make people laugh. His family were entertainers. They knew how to entertain people. They knew how to make people cry, and laugh, and listen intently to a folk tale that they had heard in passing while traveling from village to village. Now they were dead and Shuichi had picked up nothing from the years watching them. It wasn’t his style. He had helped by getting rewards from bounties. Even if his parents didn’t approve of it, he had always been able to help that way. Now he was forced to do their job - the job that he had always been awful at - or face possible consequences from a tyrannical family. How awful was that? 

His breathing got quicker and his throat got tighter, but he started dancing. There was no music to dance to and no rhythm to every step of his foot, but he kept going. The entire time, his eyes were trained on the crown prince’s face. He watched as his violet eyes traveled to his feet and he watched as a deep frown settled on it. Shuichi felt his heart skip a beat, but he kept going. His movements got more frantic and emotional and he felt tears start budding at his eyes, but he kept going. He kept moving. He kept dancing. Maybe he would be so bad that it would make Kokichi laugh. Maybe he was entertaining. Maybe, maybe…

“... yeah, nevermind. Maybe you should just stop.”  
  


Immediately, Shuichi did. His legs felt like jelly and his already empty stomach threatened to expel itself. He sunk to the floor, catching his breath after all the violent movements he had done in his desire to please Kokichi. Finally, those tears budding at his eyes left and fell onto the floor, staining pristine white with transparent, thick tears. He wasn’t sad or anything. He was absolutely terrified.

“Oh, jeez… relax, okay? Stop being an idiot. I’m not going to hurt you, remember?”

The prince’s words did not ease Shuichi’s concerns in the slightest. It was getting harder to breath. The pressure on his throat was like that pillar of wood, crushing and making him feel like he was about to die… his heart wouldn’t stop beating. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking. He couldn’t stop crying. 

Before he knew it, he felt a hand on his shoulder. When he looked up, he saw the prince before him. His face was blank and betrayed no emotions such as sympathy or anger or anything in between. He merely put a hand on Shuichi’s shoulder and squeezed it, grounding Shuichi to the reality of the situation. Oh, god… he had just broken down in front of the crown prince… he was really going to die this time, wasn’t he?

“You’re even more of an idiot than I thought. Have you ever heard of a _lie?_ ” Kokichi paused, expectant eyes staring into Shuichi’s. Shuichi simply nodded, his tears slowing as he peered back into the prince’s violent violet irises. “That was a _lie, obviously._ I’m a _liar._ ” Then Kokichi shrugged. “Well, probably. Who knows? That could be a lie too.”

“... a… lie?” Shuichi’s eyes wouldn’t leave Kokichi’s face. Although the prince had turned away from Shuichi at this point, he couldn’t stop staring at the boy. He noticed the faint wrinkles adorning his forehead and the dark bags resting under his eyes, decorating his otherwise freakishly pale face with splashes of color. “No… it wasn’t a lie. After all, you wouldn’t be comforting me if it was just a lie, right?”

Kokichi still didn’t look at him. He took his hand off of Shuichi’s shoulder, peering at his nails. “Hm. Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows?” Shuichi knew. Despite everything, he couldn’t stop the small smile budding at his lips. He couldn’t help the flutter of joy clawing at his heart. He couldn’t help but admire the boy’s pretty eyelashes and pretty, hardworking face. This was just a ruse, wasn’t it? “... now. On to more important matters…” Kokichi finally turned to look at him, his eyes wide with interest and crawling with amusement. The smallest of smirks broke his otherwise plain face. “What in the hell was _that?_ I heard you were a Saihara! How in the world did such little entertainment talent pass itself onto you?”

“Ah, well… let’s just say I was the black sheep of the family. Aha…” then he realized what Kokichi had just said and paused. “Hold on… you know I’m a Saihara? What?”

Kokichi merely rolled his eyes. “Shuichi Saihara, yes? C’mon… everyone knows that legendary family, right? I’m not stupid.”

There was an obvious contradiction in what he just said. “W-Wait! That doesn’t exp--”

Kokichi jumped to his feet. “Well! I’d like to say I pride myself on being fairly entertaining. If you want to save yourself from the wrath of my parents, I think it’d be useful to take some lessons with me, right?”

“K-Kokichi… I don’t…”

“Sooo… I’ll see you every day from now on? An hour before lunch. Every day. That’s when my break is.”

“I don’t unders--” before Shuichi could voice his uncertainties, Kokichi had scampered out of the throne room. His crown still lay on the marble floor, forgotten. 

Despite their rather rough beginnings… Shuichi couldn’t help his interest. He was interested in the crown prince. Based on everything he had heard about him, there was obviously more to his persona than met the eye… what exactly was he hiding?

* * *

For weeks, Shuichi would meet with Kokichi an hour before lunch. Everytime the man was jovial and happy to see the boy. Everytime he would laugh at his poor attempts at comedy and he would mock his dancing, his singing, his falling… everything. Everything was mockable to Kokichi. In a weird way, Shuichi supposed it was a form of entertainment. He was so bad at entertainment that it was entertaining… Did it work that way?

Every once in a while, Kokichi would inquire into Shuichi’s personal life. It didn’t happen often, and when it did happen the questions were short and to the point and the answers were accepted without question, but it still made Shuichi’s cheeks flush and his heart pound at the prince’s sudden interest in his life.

“What did you do before you came here?”

“Ah!” The sudden invasive, rather private question caught Shuichi off guard. Kokichi had been in the middle of teaching Shuichi how to stage fall. During some comedy routines, Kokichi insisted that a fake fall would be a great way to make his father laugh. Of course, his father would be kept in the dark about it being fake. Kokichi stated a shout and a hard thunk would bring his father great joy for his father loved seeing others in pain. It was dark and a bit morbid, but Kokichi seemed sure of it. Therefore, despite the quickly forming bruises on his hips, he was learning. So, after one particularly harmful fail, Shuichi yelped at Kokichi’s question. He had been groaning on the floor and rubbing his leg. Now didn’t seem like the time to go into his past. Regardless… if it was a question from Kokichi, he was going to take what he could get. “Oh… um… well I travelled with my family. We went from village to village in Ronpa. Some of us were good at singing, some at dancing, some at comedy, and um… I just watched, I guess.”

Kokichi sat next to him on the ground. He stared at a clay vase, painted a shining gold, on his dresser. His eyes wouldn’t leave that vase even when he stuck his thumb in his mouth and bit at the tender skin that lay there. He stared and stared and said, “no, no… I mean… what did _you_ do? I don’t care about your family--” _ouch_ “--you had to help in some way, right? So… what did _you_ do?”

“Ah… I did detective work.”

That piqued Kokichi’s interest. He tore his thumb out of his mouth and turned to look at Shuichi, a bright grin flashing across his face in an instant. It was wild and a little delirious, effectively disturbing Shuichi to the core. He was _definitely_ up to something. “Detective work? Like what?”

“Well, uh… I was good at catching criminals. Bounties, you know? I was able to track them down, see if they were doing wrong doing, and apprehend them. It… was actually pretty good pay, if I’m being completely honest. It got us food.”

“... right, right.” Kokichi tapped his chin and turned away from Shuichi. The prince started mumbling to himself and that tapping started becoming faster and faster, rougher and rougher, and Shuichi only heard the word: “mistaken.”

“Hm? Kokichi?”

The prince paid him no mind. He kept tapping that chin and he kept mumbling. Eventually, he paused and the brightest grin stretched across his face. It felt wrong, in fact it probably was wrong, but it excited Shuichi. His leg no longer hurt so he sat up taller, ready at attention as though he were taking an order. “You’re good at tracking down the bad guys?”

Shuichi shrugged and smiled. It was shy and hesitant, but he wanted Kokichi to trust him. After all, Kokichi was the only royal he trusted in this building. “Yeah… I suppose so.”

“Hm… interesting.”

“Interesting?”

“You know, Shuichi Saihara…” the grin upon Kokichi’s face became sinister and his eyes widened like he was a mad man, but Shuichi paid him no mind. He always did that when he was trying to scare Shuichi. “... I can use you.”

Oh. _Oh._ A blush spread across Shuichi’s face and his collar suddenly became very hot. God, he was falling hard for the prince, wasn’t he? How embarrassing. “O-Oh? Yeah?”

“Yeah… yeah… I’ve got a good feeling about this, alright.” His voice was breathy and tingly. Every syllable he spoke was a godsend. Every movement of his eyes, although erratic and uncontrollable, intrigued him. “We’re going to be a good team, Shuichi. We’re going to be a very, _very_ good team.”

The plan was simple. Kokichi would keep giving him lessons in entertainment under the guise that Shuichi was simply doing his job and entertaining Kokichi during his break. Kokichi would give Shuichi’s lessons in the art of the dramatics, as he put it, but that wasn’t all their meetings consisted of anymore. No… Shuichi didn’t know what he was getting into at first; he figured Kokichi was exaggerating, as he so often did. He didn’t think he was _serious_ about toppling the kingdom. He didn’t think he hated his parents that much. Still…

“This kingdom is full of corrupt figureheads. Most of them are in my family. See, Shuichi… all we have to do is reveal their crimes to the public. Then no one will respect them… they’ll lose all credibility, see? There will be more revolts. There will be revolution. They’ll kill the bad guys, right? That’s when we win.”

“We… win? Who wins?”

“The good guys. Or… the ones who don’t kill innocents for stating their beliefs.”

Kokichi was a puppet master. In the most honest sense of the word, he had been pulling the strings for _years_ before Shuichi’s arrival. He had been setting up tension within the kingdom. He had been inspiring revolts. He had been testing his parents and they weren’t keen to put him out of commission just yet. If he were to march in headfirst, that might change. That’s where Shuichi came in.

“You’ll get in good with them. Don’t let them know how smart they are. Don’t let them know that the fool is in cahoots with me. They don't trust me. They’ll kill you if they find you out, Shuichi.”

“They’ll kill me?”

“Without a second thought.”

That wasn’t reassuring. Despite Shuichi _knowing_ that this was for the good of the entire country, he couldn’t help but be hesitant. Who would willingly lay down their life for a kingdom that he didn’t even belong to? Granted, if he followed Kokichi’s directives then he might not die, but--

“Oh, and in case you were hesitating, my parents killed your family. If that’s more incentive.”

“... ah?”

Kokichi was casual when he said it. Like he so often did when he was trying his best to be nonchalant, he peered at his fingernails, picking at the grime that lay beneath them. He said it as if he didn’t know it would shatter Shuichi’s reality. He said it as if Shuichi wasn’t just another puzzle piece in a grand conspiracy. “Yep. They really wanted a Saihara as a jester, ya know? The bounty hunters went a bit far and killed the rest, but my parents were fine with it. It’s a little funny they grabbed the talentless one though, right?”

“... what?”

“Now, now, don’t be naive, Shuichi!” Kokichi clicked his tongue and waved his hand. “You should’ve known that your place here was much, much bigger than it originally seemed. C’mon, Shuichi…” then the boy pouted. “You’re my biggest puzzle piece, ya know?”

_Puzzle piece?_

Oh…

_“He’s inspiring… but… from stories I’ve heard, he’s awfully cruel to those close to him. He treats them like puppets. He is a royal, so it’s to be expected that he’s an egomaniac, but to think that most of the people there don’t know he’d be just as bad as his father in power, if not worse! Really… it’s tragic.”_

When he met Kokichi, he had dismissed that barmaid’s claim. Now it made sense.

“So that’s all I am to you, huh?”

Kokichi pout disappeared from his face. Instead, it was replaced with a light frown. “C’mon, Shuichi. Don’t be emotional. This is much bigger than both of us, you know?”

“No, no…” Every rumor he had heard about the prince of Dangan was right. He was a great leader. He was truly an inspiration. Behind those curtains, however, laid a master manipulator. “When you say that, you mean it’s bigger than _me_ , right? You mean that this is bigger than me. You just want the power for yourself, don’t you? That’s what this… coup is.”

Kokichi simply chuckled. “You’re being absolutely ridiculous.” Then he gestured to the papers on the floor and the quill resting beside it. “Let’s keep planning. We have a lot of work to do.”

Shuichi shook his head and bounced on to his feet. His stupid hat jingled upon his head and his stupid tight jester clothes were awfully tight. He just wanted to leave. Even if they hadn’t gotten along too well before, they were much better company than these corrupt royals. “No.”

“No?”

“No. I’m not your puppet. I’m not…” he pointed at his hat for emphasis, “...despite what I look like, I’m not a fool.”

Kokichi’s grin dropped into a frown. His brows furrowed as he regarded Shuichi. “It seems there’s been a misunderstanding. I don’t plan to keep this kingdom a monarchy. I don’t plan to seize power.”

“Then what will you do?”  
  


“That’s what we’re figuring out, Shuichi. Sit down.”

It was too much. This hat and these clothes and this stupid, beautiful, arrogant, insufferable, egotistical royal was too much for Shuichi to handle. He shook his head as he looked at those eloquent notes lying on the floor and as he looked at Kokichi and as he ran out the door.

* * *

Kokichi caught him when he was sneaking away from the kingdom, a rucksack in hand filled to the brim with only the bare essentials. He had stolen a couple loaves of bread and a canteen of water from the dining hall, but Shuichi was trying his best not to feel guilty about that. Royals had all they could ever hope for. They had money, power, people… everything that the normal people didn’t.

He was almost home free. Although they were very uncomfortable, his jester shoes were light and easy to slip past guards with. Although he stuck out like a sore thumb, if nobody spotted him then it was no problem. He had snuck across the cobblestone of the courtyard, he had waded through the trees, he had managed to sneak out the front gate, he was finally gone and he was ready to run when he heard: “you’re sneaking out on me?”

Shuichi’s body froze. He was rigid and although he tried he couldn’t get a single breath of air into his lungs. Every muscle in his body ached under the sudden tension that fell upon him, weighing him down and sending that weight straight down into his back and his legs. So, he turned around, and - in a very dignified manner, he might add - screamed. Well, he tried to. As soon as he opened his mouth, Kokichi had darted off the brick wall he had been leaning on and slapped his hand over Shuichi’s mouth. “Hey,” the prince hissed. “Be. Quiet!”

Kokichi held his palm over Shuichi’s mouth for a long while. He must’ve felt Shuichi’s pants and the saliva that started budding in his mouth at the pressure on his lips. Every once in a while, Kokichi would wince and sneer, darting his eyes around the premises to make sure no guards were searching for them while they were in this rather… confusing position. 

Hesitantly, Kokichi removed his hand from Shuichi’s mouth. Shuichi simply stared at him, a million thoughts dancing behind his eyelids as he regarded what this situation could possibly mean for him and, at that, Kokichi. When Shuichi opened his mouth to ask those questions, Kokichi simply shook his head and darted his eyes around the premises once more. Shuichi understood then, and when Kokichi turned around and started walking down a path that was random and without a pattern, Shuichi knew that the prince knew exactly where they were going.

Finally, they stopped. Before the pair stood a great weeping willow, light tendrils of green finicky leaves touching the ground upon which they walked. The tree was great and monstrous and beautiful, especially in the moonlight. The moon’s beams gently illuminated the tree, casting a massive shadow over the surrounding land. Ah. This was Kokichi’s plan.

When Kokichi went to sit under the willow tree, Shuichi didn’t move. The prince turned around and stared at him expectantly, waiting for the jester to follow him. No, Shuichi was no fool. He was a detective. He was smart. He figured things out. 

“Why?”

Kokichi rolled his eyes. Shuichi almost didn’t see it as Kokichi had been standing under the shade of the willow tree. However, as the moonlight shined through those leaves, Shuichi could see those deceptive, beautiful violet eyes. Beautifully creepy. Beautifully disturbing. Beautifully corrupt. Seeing those same violet eyes roll to the back of his head caused a rush of anger to surge within Shuichi. “C’mon, Shuichi. Don’t be like this. Come under the tree.”

_That_ was Shuichi’s breaking point. “No!”

“Remember to keep your voice down.”

“I-I know that -- god, I’m not stupid, you know?”

“I know that.”

“Then… why? Why did you come out here? I was almost gone. Did you just come here to mock me?”

Kokichi sighed. The sigh was rough and harsh and angry. “There’d be no point to that, Shuichi. Do you think I’m an idiot?”

“No. You’re an egotistical prince. You’re not stupid. You’re vain.”

At that, Kokichi chuckled and clicked his tongue. “If I had a copper…” 

“This isn’t some joke.”

Kokichi shrugged. “It’s pretty funny, ya know.” He chuckled and his eyes were wide like a mad man. He spread his arms and laughed, an ugly cackle erupting from his throat. He was evil. Truly, he was evil. “For a detective, you’re pretty blind to the truth. Am I right?” Kokichi snuck further into the shadow. His eyes were wide and deceptive. He was deceptive. He was just a liar, wasn’t he? A stupid, filthy liar.

“Y-You can’t just _manipulate_ people like this!” Shuichi felt every muscle in his body shaking, every teeth of his clattering, every single part of him vibrating. “You’re not the only one alive, Kokichi! We’re all living too, and the people here have to live with the consequences of your family’s selfish actions. Do you want to become another tyrannical Ouma? Do you want to become a revolutionary? Pick one! You don’t get to choose both!”

For a moment, Kokichi’s eyes widened. Finally, some genuine emotion. Yes… yes… he’d dig the blade in deeper. He’d let him feel how his family felt when they were killed. He’d let him know how upset he was at being simply regarded as a _puzzle piece._ He was human, for Christ’s sake! He was alive! They were alive! 

“Shuichi!”

_Huh?_

He heard the drawing of the string too late. When he spun around, he saw a man on top of a long wall, contempt in his eyes and a bow in hand. The silver top of the arrowhead glinted in the night sky. It was pretty. He was dead.

He watched the armored man, a knight, let go of the bow string. He watched the arrow start to fly towards him. Time seemed to slow down. In the moments before death, he remembered his life. He remembered his siblings and his parents. He remembered being the deadbeat. He remembered, still, the good times. He remembered the pride he felt whenever he caught a criminal. He remembered how happy he was when his mother complimented him on his first bounty. He remembered everything.

And then time sped up. Then the arrow was right in front of him. Then a soft ball of purple hit him from behind and knocked him to the ground, an arrow whizzing just past his head. Then the crown prince of Dangan angrily growled in his ear, “I told you to _be quiet!_ Dammit! Follow me!” Kokichi jumped off of him. When Shuichi looked at the wall again, the guard had paused. He stared at Kokichi as he ran away, not sparing a glance behind him to check if Shuichi was following him. A moment later, the guard snapped out of it, narrowed his gaze to Shuichi, and started drawing his bow string once more.

Needless to say, Shuichi was out of there. 

Frantically, Shuichi chased after Kokichi. Despite having such short legs, the boy could _run._ Trees passed them both as they ran further and further into the surrounding woodlands, distant shouts echoing within the castle walls behind them. They kept running. When they stumbled and fell over roots, they immediately hopped back on to their feet and continued running. They kept running until they couldn’t anymore, until their sides burned and until every breath they took was a struggle. Then they both fell to the ground, brown leaves pooling around Shuichi’s legs slumped, face down, into the dirt. God… that was hell. No going back now.

Kokichi, however, barely took even a moment to breath. When he next spoke, although every few words were marked by a deep breath, his words were clear, concise, and cutting. He hit Shuichi’s shoulder, forcing the other boy - the now _former_ jester - to roll on to his side and look at Kokichi. Not to his surprise, Kokichi looked absolutely _furious._ Hell, it even looked like veins were bulging out of his forehead… huh…

“Shuichi! What the hell were you thinking?” Kokichi tossed his hands in the air and closed his fists, slamming one into the dirt in a show of theatrics that Shuichi had not yet learned from Kokichi. “Y-You could’ve been killed!”

“... what? And your plan would’ve been ruined?”

“No, you moron!” he gasped. For the first time since Shuichi had met him, Kokichi had tears running down his face. That immediately caught Shuichi’s attention. That… wasn’t fake, right? Those were real tears, right? He sat up, ignoring the pain within his sides, and turned his full attention to Shuichi. “I’m not talking about a fucking plan! I just ruined it by saving you, didn’t I? Everyone knows I’m a traitor now, so now they have a concrete reason to make sure I’m not next in line. I didn’t ever care about being a king! I wanted to…” he dug his face into his hands. “G-Goddammit! Stop crying!”

“K-Kokichi…”

“What!” he snapped. However, his harsh bite was much less intimidating when he was shoving his face into his hands and desperately trying to put his facade back together. “You… you idiot! You know, you… gah… I…”

“... sorry, Kokichi.” Shuichi scooted closer to him. When he tried to wrap his arms around the smaller boy, Kokichi scooted away. “... Kokichi…”

“Shut up!”

“Hey… I’m sorry.”

“N-No… I’m… gah…” Kokichi freed his face, and when Shuichi spotted it, he was baffled at how… pathetic he looked. Even in the darkness of the night, Shuichi could clearly spot the overwhelming red hue dominating the entire prince’s face. “Goddammit… I-I’m…”

_Oh. I see._ “You’re sorry?”  
  


“Shut up!”

Shuichi grinned. “Touchy?”

“Hell yeah I’m touchy. My entire life was just taken from me!”

“Welcome to the club…”  
  


“Oh, boo-hoo, baby. Cry me a river.”

“No need, you already cried it for me.”

“I should’ve let you die!”

“Aw, is the baby getting angry?”

“Hey! I’m the one who is supposed to do the mockery!”

“Too late!”

“Ugh…”

“... but on a serious note.” Shuichi took a deep breath and surveyed the area around them. He had absolutely no idea where they were, and if they went in the same direction they came from… they might both be killed. “What’s the plan from here? We don’t exactly have anywhere to go…”

Kokichi clicked his tongue. Much to Shuichi’s happiness, the silly banter they had just partaken in seemed to have made him a little happier. His tears had stopped and his skin was starting to lose that angry glow. “Well… I guess the plan should stay the same, right?”  
  


“You’re not a crown prince anymore and I’m not a jester anymore. I can’t exactly get in close with people.”

Kokichi shrugged. “Yeah, but… people in this kingdom still see me as a… well, how did you put it, ‘revolutionary’. And you… you’re good at catching criminals. I’m sure with both our skill sets that outting a few corrupt royals will be no big deal. You know, I think we could make a pretty good duo!”  
  


Shuichi didn’t say it, but hearing those words from Kokichi made his heart skip a beat. That red hue that had dominated his cheeks whenever he was near Kokichi appeared once more. In the moonlight, those pale features of his were absolutely beautiful. He wanted to be near him forever…

Ah… but that silly infatuation could wait for later.

They had a kingdom to collapse.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! What'd y'all think~? They didn't end up together in the end buuuuut... there's always the possibility, ya know? They probably will. One day. After they topple the monarchy. Normal teenager stuff.
> 
> Next time... owo? What's this? MUSICALS? Hell yeah!
> 
> P.S: is it obvious yet that I just slap these together and post them immediately without revision? I fear the amount of typos in this thing.
> 
> JOIN THE SAIOUMA PIT: https://discord.gg/5a35Yyx
> 
> TWITTER: @M_BTree


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